Not Another Sonic High
by CrazyMuffinAssassin
Summary: AS Sonic and Co. are forced to go to high school, how will they be able to overcome the extraordinary amount of clichedness that comes with it?
1. Chapter 1: We're Going WHERE?

My first try at writing something humorous. Um… just as a side-note, I will say that the narrator will have a role, and this will have an actual plot. Okay, well here it is. Please review. I want to know if I should continue with this or not.

Muffin loves you.

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><p>"Why are we doing this again?"<p>

"Because they won't let us stay here unless we go."

"Why do we _have _to go? We're legal adults! We don't need schooling!"

"I don't make the rules. Just do it, Sonic, it won't kill you."

"You don't know that!"

Sonic and Shadow have been arguing like this for the pat week, ever since they found out that they have to go to school to be able to stay in Station Square. Why? Nobody knows. It just seemed like a good idea.

Know what the best thing about it is, though? The uniforms. I mean, who doesn't want to see two extremely attractive hedgehogs wearing school uniforms?

At this time, our two favorite hedgehogs are on their way to school.

They're roommates, having lived together for the past six months. Sonic got tired of sleeping in trees all the time, so he'd asked Shadow if he could bunk with him, and, reluctantly, Shadow agreed.

The two of them are racing, the only stress-reliever both of them share. They always race. Always. It never fails. Ever. Point blank.

They don't even race to win; they race just to… well race.

Upon reaching their dreaded destination, they stop, staring at the building with dread.

"Do we really have to go in there?" Sonic asks for the fiftieth time. "I don't wanna."

"Too bad, hedgehog," Shadow mutters, pushing Sonic up the steps. "We gotta do it so you might as well get used to it."

Sonic struggles under the black hedgehog's grasp. "No you can't make me I'm not going in there no no _no_!"

"Sonic, stop fidgeting- quit it- ow! Did you just fricken _bite _me?" Shadow slaps him opposite forcefully, making Sonic's eyes go blank momentarily.

"N-no…" Sonic says guiltily. "Why would I do that…?"

Shadow's eyebrow quirks and he begins to drag Sonic into the building. Sonic fights him the whole way, cursing at him and trying to twist out of his grip.

The only thing that makes him stop is seeing three attractive girls past by.

"Wait… this school has _babes_?" Sonic gasps, staring after them. They giggle and wave at him, smiling. Sonic jumps up so he doesn't seem like a crazy person being dragged across the floor.

"Of course there are girls here. It's school, not prison," Shadow tells him, rolling his eyes.

"Nobody told me that!" Sonic exclaims. "I thought school was just a place parents send their kids when they don't want to take care of them."

"Uh, no?"

Sonic only shrugs, and the two of them continue on their journey down the hallway to the counselor's office. Once they enter the counselor's office, everything's business.

"Just let me do the talking," Shadow whispers to Sonic. "I don't want you screwing this up."

"Whatever," the Blue Blur mutters, crossing his arms.

"Oh, you must be Sonic and Shadow," the counselor, a spectacled white rabbit whose nameplate reads "Mrs. Nealy" says, shuffling through some papers on her desk. "We've been expecting you."

"Yes, we're, uh, here to pick up our schedules," Shadow tells her, appearing nervous for the first time.

"Well, yeah, why else would you two be here?" the counselor jokes lightly, handing the two hedgehogs two pieces of brightly-colored paper. "Here they are. Do you want a map?"

"That'd be great, thanks," Shadow grumbles, taking a school map from Mrs. Nealy.

"You two are brothers, right?" the young rabbit asks. "I couldn't help but notice you have the same last names."

"No, I am _not _related to _him_," Shadow growls. He grabs Sonic's arm and takes him out. "C'mon, Sonic."

As they walk down the hallway, the two hedgehogs compare schedules. Most of their classes are the same, except Shadow has a different extra-curricular than Sonic does.

"Algebra? What the heck is algebra?" Sonic scoffs, his eyes down on his schedule.

"Math, dumb-ass," Shadow replies, rolling his eyes again.

"Oh…"

They continue to their first class, finally finding their way to the room, just as the final bell rings.

As they enter, the teacher, a bronze-colored fox wearing spectacles, looks up as they do.

"Ah, you must be our new students," he says, getting up from behind his desk. "Class, we have some new classmates joining us today. Everyone say 'hello' to Sonic and Shadow the Hedgehogs."

The other students murmur their greetings without even looking up. Sonic's eyebrows quirk in annoyance.

_Do they have any respect for the guy that saves their sorry butts every other week? _He wonders bitterly, taking his seat behind a chocolate brown female echidna. Shadow takes his own seat next to him.

The teacher, named Mr. Nymer, hands each of them an algebra text book. "Write your names in these," he orders. "If you lose them, you pay a fine. Understood?"

_Books? _Sonic gasps silently in dismay. _You mean I have to keep up with _books _too? Aw, this just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it? _

As Mr. Nymer heads back to his desk, the echidna in front of him turns around.

Sonic gasps as he sees a long scar down the left side of her face. But her caramel eyes sparkle as she greets him.

"Hi," she says cheerfully. "My name is Faith. I-I'm familiar with your work. Thanks for saving us all the time."

"It's no big deal," Sonic says, grinning. "We do it all the time! Right, Shadow?"

Shadow is writing his name in his book. He looks at Sonic confusedly. "Did you say something?"

Faith giggles softly, appearing amused.

Sonic frowns and flicks an ear. _Damn you Shadow for being so cool! I'll show you! _

He looks back at Faith. "So…"

"So?"

"So…"

"Sonic if you don't say anything intelligent in the next five minutes I will slap you so hard your fur will turn brown!" Shadow snaps, throwing his hands up in frustration.

Sonic glares at the black hedgehog again. "I'll get to it!" once again, he turns back to Faith. "So…"

"If you say 'so' one more time…"

"Shut up, Shadow!"

"I will when you stop being an insufferable idiot."

"I'm not an insufferababible idiot!"

"Which goes to prove my point, moron."

"Stop calling me names in front of women!"

Shadow snorts. "I don't think Faith here is a lesbian."

"Why I oughta-"

Faith starts laughing, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "You two are so funny," she says, grinning. "I could hang with you guys."

Sonic beams at her. "We rehearse, like, _all_ of our material. If you liked that, then we got _loads _more. Just for you, sweet thing."

"If you plan on getting this girl here," Faith chuckles and winks, "you need better material."

And then she turns around.

Sonic smacks himself in the face with his book. He can hear Shadow chuckling behind him, and just continues hitting himself until he feels dizzy.

The bell rings, signaling the end of first period. Sonic gathers his belongings and starts heading out, grumbling to himself about how he can never catch a break.

"Hey, Sonic!" Faith calls to him in the hallway as he and Shadow walk towards their next class.

The blue hedgehog turns around as the chocolate brown echidna jogs up to him. "Yeah?" he sighs, feeling put off by her presence.

"Need any help getting to your next class?" she asks him, smiling broadly.

"Umm… sure." He hands her the schedule.

"Oh, cool! Your next class is near mine. Follow me!" She lifts up her arm with the paper in it and walks forward, shoving people out of the way in her path.

"She's cute," Sonic comments to Shadow, smiling happily.

"She's an OC. You know OCs always mesmerize the main character with their stunning beauty, making whatever protagonist who sees them fall inexplicably in love with them."

"So what? Maybe I like OCs."

"But none of the other canon characters have shown up yet! Give it some time before you decide you're madly in love with a girl you've only known for five minutes."

The funny thing is: he's right about that. I mean how often have you read a story about a canon character who meets an OC and they fall in love within five minutes of seeing each other? I mean jeeze! At least give them a whole day before they have unbelievable sex that ends with her getting knocked up and giving birth to a super powered baby that has a lot of social problems and ends up depressed while his parents constantly fight or continue to have unbelievable sex that results in more offspring. *cough* enough of my griping.

"Shut up, Shadow," Sonic grumbles, focusing his eyes back on Faith. _Aw…fooey to Shadow,_ he thinks, internally fudsing his hand to the black hedgehog. _Hes not that smart. _

"You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking," Shadow hisses.

"That you'd look damn god in a tutu?"

"What? No! That I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about."

"It's good to hear those words coming out of your own mouth." Sonic smacks straight into Faith who has stopped right in front of him.

"Karma's a bit of a bitch, isn't it, hedgehog?" Shadow snickers.

"Are you two arguing again?" the chocolate echidna scolds teasingly, looking amused.

"I dunno… Do you want us to argue?" Sonic asks, getting close to her.

"Personal space, dude. I'm not _that_ kind of OC," Faith says, pushing him off of her.

"Rejected!"

"Shut up, Shadow? When did you get so talkative?"

Faith sighs exasperatedly. "Here's your class, guys. I'll see you two later."

Sonic flicks his ears. "There goes another girl I'd like to bang."

"Sounds like you haven't changed much," a familiar voice sounds behind them.

The two hedgehog turn around to see a red echidna tugging on the collar of his uniform.

"Knuckles!"

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><p>I don't think this was all that funny. I spent too much time thinking rather than just coming up with material on the spot like I intended to. Pah. Well, hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Tell me if you like!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2: Say WHAAAT?

I know I said I would be publishing chapters for this story regularly, but then I started going places and haven't had any inspiration until now.

Disclaimer: Faith and every other character unaffiliated with SEGA belong to me. Sonic and Co. belong to SEGA.

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><p>"You guys got roped into this too?" Knuckles the Echidna asks, looking positively irritated. He adjusts his tie with a grimace as the three of them walk into the classroom.<p>

"Yeah. How did they get a hold of you?" Sonic inquires, raising an eyebrow. He knows that the stubborn red echidna would've _never_ agreed to something like this.

"They… uh… tricked me into it," Knuckles coughs, his cheeks turning red.  
>Sonic snickers, and he hears Shadow sputter.<p>

"That doesn't take a lot, does it, dumbass?" the black hedgehog chuckles.

"I am not a dumbass! They took the Master Emerald and led me to this place!" Knuckles snaps. "It's not my fault that it was a fake!"

"They led you here with a _fake _Emerald?" Shadow snickers. "Don't you have, like, a 'psychic connection' with that thing?"

"Uh… yes?" Knuckles' cheeks turn as red as his fur.

"How did they get the uniform on you?" Sonic sputters, withholding his laughter. "Trying to put clothes on you is like trying to wrestle a rabid dolphin."

"Rabid dolphin?" Shadow looks at him, confused.

"Yeah, 'cause they're all slippery and stuff," Sonic explains cheerfully.

"Why were you trying to put clothes on him anyway?" Shadow asks, raising an eyebrow. "_You _don't even wear clothing."

"We were playing truth or dare and Knuckles picked 'dare' and so I dared him to wear Amy's dress until his next turn and he said 'no' so I told Tails to hold him down and we tried to put the dress on him and it just ended with me soaked in mayonnaise and a bald tail. It took weeks for my fur to grow back!" Sonic says, his voice rising gradually.

"Not that your story doesn't _interest _me, but… it doesn't interest me," Shadow growls, sitting in an empty seat.

Sonic opens his mouth for a snappy retort, but is cut off when the teacher walks up to them. He's a brown cat with darker spots and a pure white muzzle.

"Are you three the new students?" he asks.

They all nod, and Shadow grumbles something like "No shit, Sherlock."

"Welcome to my health class! My name is Mr. Howard!"

They nod again, unsure of what to say.

"Of course, I know your names. Um… here are your books." Mr. Howard hands each of them a textbook. Sonic stares at it, dumbfounded.

"_Another one_?" the blue hero gasps, poking at it cautiously. "Where am I supposed to keep _two_ books?"

"Where every other student keeps their textbooks, of course," a student, a black fox with red accents chuckles, "in a locker."

"What's a locker?" Sonic asks.

"The metal things lining the hallways, smart one," Shadow snorts.

"And you called _me _a dumbass," Knuckles mutters.

"I bet you didn't know what they were either!" Sonic snaps, his ears flattening.

"Yes, I did!"

"Shut up, you two. You're embarrassing me," Shadow growls under his breath.

"You do a good enough of that on your own," Sonic snorts, only to promptly receive a punch to the arm. "Ouch! What was that for?"

"For you being a dumbass," Shadow snaps.

"Well, I never!" Sonic gasps, trying to look genuinely hurt.

"Okay, class, open your books to page eighty-six and take notes on the different viruses for a test on Friday," Mr. Howard orders, taking his seat behind his desk.

_Notes? _Sonic gasps inside of his head. _I don't even have a pencil let alone paper! _

The black, red, and white fox from before hands him two sheets of paper and a pen. "Here, I thought you might need this," he mutters before turning back in his seat.

Sonic blinks at him, confused. "Uh… thanks?"

The fox ignores him and bends over his work.

Sonic blinks, still bewildered, and opens his book. _What the hell am I supposed to write about?_ He wonders, his eyes moving across the page.

He flashes a look at Knuckles, who looks just as dumbfounded as he does. The red echidna scratches his head and begins writing stuff down, most likely a bunch of scribbles.

Which comes to this question… do they know how to write? We never actually see them write, so do they know how? I know they know how to read, but isn't writing a part of that? Can't really do much with that if we don't know, eh? Anyway, back to story…

After deciding to write a bunch of bullcrap down, which basically means copying every word on the page, Sonic begins writing at a lightning-fast pace. Before he knows it, the bell rings, signaling the end of the period.

Sonic drops the pencil onto the desk as he gathers his things with a sigh. The black fox that had presented him with the supplies is just about to leave before the Blue Blur catches him.

"Thanks for the pencil and paper, by the way," he says.

"No problem." The fox nods. "My name's Vincent, by the way. I'm a telepath. That's how I knew."

"Was it really a smart idea to tell him that?" Shadow mutters. "You know, he'll screw with you because you told him."

"That doesn't bother me. I think he deserves to know so he doesn't feel violated," Vincent says with a shrug. "Plus, he's just too easy to read. His mind is an open book to me."

"What're you trying to say?" Sonic snaps. "I'm not an idiot."

"Could've fooled me," Knuckles coughs from behind.

"Oh, shut up, Knucklehead," Sonic scoffs before brushing past Vincent and into the hallway. The others follow him.

"Oh… Sonic!" a shrill, female voice calls from the end of the hallway.

_Shit! Don't be Amy don't be Amy don't be Amy! _Sonic begs silently.

It's Amy.

_Why do you insist on punishing me? _

The pink hedgehog's arms are around him, and she begins to smother him with a flurry of kisses.

"Amy, cut it out!" Sonic wheezes, his lungs constricted by the female's embrace. "Get off!"

"Oh, great. Amy," Shadow growls. "This day keeps getting better and better."

Sonic shoves Amy off, his ears and cheeks burning. "What about 'get off' don't you understand?"

Amy just gravitates back towards him, sticking to him like bad rash that no ointment can cure.

Sonic sighs, suddenly having the urge to bang his head against the nearest wall.

"Do you guys need help getting to your next class?" Vincent's voice comes from behind.

"Whoa! I'm forgot you existed for a minute there, buddy!" Knuckles gasps, jumping at the sound of the fox's voice.

Vincent grimaces. "Yeah, I get that a lot. So do you need help or not?"

"I was actually going to wait on-"

"Vincent! I see you met the new kids!" Faith comes out of nowhere, bowling the fox over in a hug.

"Hi, Faith," Vincent greets. And, get this: he _kisses her on the cheek._ All of Sonic's hopes and dreams shatter right then and there, the hopes and dreams that an incredibly gorgeous fan character would have sex with him in an alley where only the horniest of hedgehogs go to relieve their sexual cravings.

"I expect that you met them in first period?" Vincent asks Faith, his arm around her shoulders.

"Yah. I brought them here. And I expect you're all standing in the middle of the hallway because you _want_ to get in everyone's way," Faith teases, her nose against Vincent's ear.

Sonic's cheeks burn. _How come whenever I like someone they're either with someone else or from a different dimension?_

He and Blaze had a thing. It was complicated. Let's not talk about it.

"Who are your friends, Sonikku?" Amy asks, gripping his arm tightly. "Who's she? Who's _he_?" She looks Vincent up and down. "Holy _crap_."

"She's Faith and that's Vincent. They aren't _friends_; we just met them this morning."

"Well, I know who _I _want to be friends with. Me-_ow_."

Sonic hears Shadow snicker from behind. He whips around to slug him.

"Shut up! Since when do you laugh so much?" he snaps, hitting his opposite square in the jaw.

Shadow twists his wrist in response. "You touch me again and I will end you, are we clear?"

"No, we're more like muddy shit-water if you ask me." That earns the Blue Blur a slap across the face. "What? You asked!"

Faith giggles from between Vincent and Knuckles. "Aren't those two funny?" she murmurs to her boyfriend.

"Hilarious," Knuckles growls, rolling his eyes.

Sonic and Shadow both glare at the red echidna.

"What?"

The two hedgehogs simultaneously shake their heads and mutter "dumbass" under their breaths.

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><p>Yeah, yeah, i know it's short as heeeelllll but I don't care. I just want to see how it goes before I continue. I really don't think I'm being all that funny. I guess it's because I don't work very well with making the canon characters say things that would be... acceptable for them to say. Stuff that doesn't make them seem too stupid. Blech. Please review.<p> 


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